In the Know

10 Techniques to Help You Become A Better Listener

I would like to share some information I learned at a recent International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) monthly meeting.  This program has been pre-developed by IAAP for educational use by their individual chapters.

According to Diana Bonet, author of The Business of Listening, most of us spend about 80% of the workday communicating.  Listening occupies almost half that time (45%); the other half is devoted to speaking (30%), reading (16%), and writing (9%).  But even though we do more listening than speaking, listening is rarely viewed as a top priority. I bet most of you would swear that you’re a good listener.   But the truth is – most of us are not. Most of us listen at 50% efficiency, meaning we remember half of what we just heard.  According to Diana Bonet, we listen at only about 25% of our potential.  That means that we ignore, forget, distort, or misunderstand 75% of what we hear.

IAAP included a quick quiz taken from the book, Managers As Facilitators: A Practical Guide To Getting Work Done In A Changing Workplace, written by Richard Weaver and John Farrell.  Take a moment to take your listening quiz and be honest in your answers.

Click Here to Take the Listening Self Assessment

If this quiz were given to significant others in your life, how do you think they would rate you?  Your boss?  Your children?  Your Mother?  It might be very different from how you rated yourself.  You might also get different ratings if you scored your listening skills at work, at home, in church, or with friends.  This tells you that we all listen differently when we’re with different people and in different places.  But, how many of you, regardless of your score would like to become a better listener?

Below are ten listening techniques to help you become a better listener.

1. Be empathetic.
2. Listen to body language and nonverbal cues.
3. Listen precisely.  It helps to take good notes as you listen.
4. Reflect, rephrasing what has been said.  To be sure you got the message straight; repeat what you thought you heard.
5. Clarify.  If you’re not sure that you understand something, ask for clarification.
6. Probe.  Ask for additional information.
7. Acknowledge.  Provide some response that encourages the speaker to continue and lets him know you are following his story.
8. Use silence. We’ve all heard that silence is golden, especially in selling, servicing, or negotiating.
9. Restate.  Restatement is saying back what the speaker just said to you.
10. Summarize.  This is an excellent technique to end a conversation.  It describes your understanding of the interaction.